


Bad Day At Black Rock (3.03)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [48]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Related, Episode: s03e03 Bad Day at Black Rock, Rabbit's Foot, Sam Loses Shoes, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 21:00:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7330507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam n' Dean come up in contact wit a rabbitz foot dat gives dem phat luck until a thief steals it from Sam, givin his ass tonz of shitty luck yo. His shitty luck continues when he kidnapped by tha mentor of a hunta whoz ass believes da perved-out muthafucka still has his thugged-out lil' powers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. NOW

EXT. PRISON - DAY

INT. PRISON - DAY

KUBRICK is bein swiped down wit a metal detector, before he entas tha prison visitors area yo. Dude sits down on tha other side of a window up in front of GORDON WALKER n' picks up tha two-way phone.

 **KUBRIK  
** It aint nuthin but true fo' realz. A Devilz Gate was opened up in Wyoming. Big. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. St Helenaz big.

 **KUBRIK  
** Therez no solid fix on how tha fuck nuff demons gots up yo, but itz up in tha hundredz fo' realz. An army.

 **GORDON  
** Sam Winchesta was there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Wasn't he?

 **KUBRIK  
** Talked ta a muthafucka whoz ass knows a muthafucka whoz ass knows Bobby Singer, n' yeah, it be lookin like tha Winchestas was at ground zero when tha gate was popped yo, but Singer holla'd they went up in there ta stop dat shit.

 **GORDON  
** Mhn-mhn (bobbin his head no). Bobbyz edge ain't what tha fuck it used ta be. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam could have his ass believin anythang by now, nahmeean?

 **KUBRIK  
** Listen Gordon, as far as rap goes, biatch? Sam Winchesta checks out. Dat punk a hunter, thatz all.

 **GORDON  
** Thatz all?

KUBRICK nods.

 **GORDON  
** (Laughs) Kubrick, I aint even shizzle dat schmoooove muthafucka human.

KUBRICK laughs nervously.

 **GORDON  
** Yo ass be thinkin I be crazy, biatch? I holla'd at you there was a war comin- six months ago. Take a look around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! It aint nuthin but here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Now I be spittin some lyrics ta you dis pimp be a part of dat shit. Track his ass down, Kubrick. You'll come ta peep it like a muthafucka. Sam Winchesta must take a thugged-out dirt nap.

GORDON hangs up tha phone.


	2. ACT ONE

EXT yo. HIGHWAY - NIGHT

Da Impala is travelin along a on tha fuckin' down-low, dark road. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM n' DEAN is jumpin off bout some shit.

INT. IMPALA - NIGHT

 **DEAN  
** Because Demon, thatz why. I mean tha second you smoke up dis Ruby chick be a Demon you go fo' tha holy gin n juice playa! Yo ass don't chat!

 **SAM  
** No one was chatting, Dean.

 **DEAN  
** Oh yeah, biatch? Then why didn't you bust her ass back ta Hell?

 **SAM  
** Because - Because her big-ass booty holla'd she might be able ta help our asses out!

 **DEAN  
** How?

SAM pauses.

 **DEAN  
** No straight-up, Sam, how, biatch? How tha fuck could she possibly help us?

 **SAM  
** Bitch holla'd at mah crazy ass dat thugged-out biiiatch could help you, OK?

DEAN aint gettin dat shit.

 **SAM  
** Help you outta tha crossroadz deal.

DEAN looks at SAM incredulously.

 **DEAN  
** What tha fuck iz poppin' off wit you, huh, biatch? Dat hoe lying, you gotta know that, don't yo slick ass, biatch? Biatch knows what tha fuck yo' weaknizz is- itz mah dirty ass. (Pause) What else did her big-ass booty say?

SAM is silent.

 **DEAN  
** Dude?

 **SAM  
** Nothing. (Pause) Nothing, OK?! Look I aint a idiot Dean, I aint poppin' off bout trustin her, I be poppin' off bout rockin her n' shit. I mean we at war, right, biatch? And our phat asses don't give a fuck jack bout tha enemy; our phat asses don't give a fuck where they are, our phat asses don't give a fuck what tha fuck they bustin. I mean, hell, our phat asses don't give a fuck what tha fuck they want. Now dis Ruby hoe knows mo' than we will eva smoke up on our own. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Now fo'sho, itz a risk, I know dat yo, but we need ta take dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass be aiiight right, I mean you feelin aiiight?

 **SAM  
** Yes yes y'all, I be fine, Why is you always askin me that?

A beeper starts ringing. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM sighs n' reaches fo' his own.

 **SAM  
** It aint nuthin but not mine.

DEAN goes fo' his.

 **DEAN  
** Nope. (Pause) Peep tha gludd compartment, itz Dad's.

 **SAM  
** Dad's?

 **DEAN  
** Yes, I keep it charged up in case any of his oldschool contacts call.

SAM opens tha gludd compartment, findz JOHN'S beeper n' lyrics dat shit.

 **SAM  
** Hello, biatch? Yes yes y'all... dis is Edgar Cayce... No! Fuck dat shit, no, no, don't- don't call tha police, I be bout ta handle dis mah dirty ass. Thanks. Yo ass know, can you just uh, can you just lock it back up fo' me son, biatch? Great. Uhm, I- I uh, I aint gots mah - mah book up in front of me, (gestures ta DEAN fo' a pen) do you- do you have tha address so I can... Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sure, OK. Go ahead. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Right, props all muthafuckin day.

SAM endz tha call.

 **SAM  
** Dad eva rap he kept a cold-ass lil container at a storage place?

 **DEAN  
** What?

 **SAM  
** Outside of Buffalo?

 **DEAN  
** No way.

 **SAM  
** Yeah fo' realz. And one of mah thugs just broke tha fuck into dat shit.

EXT yo. HIGHWAY - NIGHT

EXT. KUBRICK'S RV AND CREEDY'S PICKUP - DAY

INT. RV - DAY

KUBRICK n' fellow Hunta CREEDY is cleanin n' checkin weapons inside tha RV.

 **CREEDY  
** So you gots no hard evidence on dis Winchesta muthafucka. Yo ass is just hustlin off Gordonz instincts?

 **KUBRIK  
** Yo ass eva hunt wit Gordon?

 **CREEDY  
** No. I heard he good.

 **KUBRIK  
** Good? (Laughs) Dat punk tha best, saved mah ass mo' times than I can count. So if da perved-out muthafucka say Sam Winchesterz dangerous, I believe his muthafuckin ass.

 **CREEDY  
** Dat punk gonna be coverin his cold-ass tracks. Won't be easy as fuck ta find.

 **KUBRIK  
** Last I gots puts his ass up in Nebraska three weeks back.

 **CREEDY  
** Not exactly a gangbangin' fresh lead.

 **KUBRIK  
** Dude ain't invisible, Creedy. Some Hunta up there knows something. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So we start callin up contacts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. All we need is one break.

KUBRICK gets up from tha table n' looks over at CREEDY, whoz ass has taken some kind of plastic 3D Jizzy outta a overhead cupboard n' is fiddlin wit dat shit. Therez a funky-ass black velvet Jizzy, up in a gangbangin' frame, hangin opposite.

 **KUBRIK  
** Don't fuck wit mah Jizzy.

EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STORAGE FACILITY - DAY

INT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STORAGE FACILITY ELEVATOR

 **DEAN  
** Man...

 **SAM  
** What?

 **DEAN  
** Just Dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass know his ass n' his secrets, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Spend all dis time wit tha muthafucka n' itz like we barely even know tha man.

 **SAM  
** Well, we bout ta learn something.

SAM n' DEAN exit tha elevator n' find tha storage container n' shit. DEAN unlocks tha padlock n' opens tha slidin door, both brothers wit flashlights all up in tha ready. On tha dusty floor of tha container be a symbol drawn up in red, along wit nuff muthafuckin bloody footprints.

INT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STORAGE CONTAINER

 **SAM  
** No demons allowed.

 **DEAN  
** Blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Peep dis out.

DEAN holdz up a tripwire which be attached ta a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shotgun hidden up in a big-ass animal skull.

 **SAM  
** Whoever broke up in here gots tagged.

 **DEAN  
** Dear oldschool Dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I gots two setz of boot treadz here, be lookin like dat shiznit was a two-man thang fo' realz. And our playa wit tha buckshot up in his ass be lookin like he kept strutting.

 **SAM  
** So whatz tha deal, biatch? Dad would do work here or something?

 **DEAN  
** Livin tha high game, as usual.

SAM n' DEAN venture further inside. DEAN aims his wild lil' flashlight on tha skull n' shakes his head, laughing. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks over a thugged-out desk while DEAN picks up a trophy from a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shelf, scrapin tha dust off.

 **DEAN  
** (reading) 1995

 **SAM  
** No way dawwwwg! Thatz mah Division Championshizzle soccer trophy. I can't believe he kept this.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah... Dat shiznit was probably bout tha closest you eva came ta bein a funky-ass boy. (DEAN wandaz over ta another find.) Oh, wow! It aint nuthin but mah first sawed-off. I juiced it up mah dirty ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sixth grade.

DEAN laughs n' pumps tha shotgun.

SAM moves further tha fuck into tha container n' opens a thugged-out door ta a funky-ass back room. Da chain on tha door has been cut. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN enta n' pass they flashlights over tha scene.

 **DEAN  
** Holy crap. Look at this, dat schmoooove muthafucka had land mines... Which they didn't take. Or tha guns. I guess they knew what tha fuck they was after, huh?

SAM spots boxes inscribed wit symbols on a gangbangin' far shelf.

 **SAM  
** Yo Dean, check dis out. See these symbols, biatch? Thatz bindin magic. These is curse boxes.

 **DEAN  
** Curse boxes, biatch? Th- they supposed ta keep tha evil mojo in, right, kinda like tha Pandora deal?

 **SAM  
** Yeah. Yeah, they built ta contain tha juice of tha cursed object.

 **DEAN  
** Well Dadz journal did mention a whole bunch of stuff, you know, biatch? Dangerous hexed items, fetishes .. yo. Dude never did say where they ended up.

 **SAM  
** Yeah. Well dis must be his cold-ass toxic waste dump. (SAM notices a rectangular shape up in tha dust n' runs his wild lil' finger along tha dust.) One box is missing... Great.

 **DEAN  
** Well maybe they didn't open dat shit.

INT. WAYNE AND GROSSMAN'S APARTMENT - DAY

 **GROSSMAN  
** Come on dude, letz open dat shit.

 **WAYNE  
** (yelling) Shut up bout tha damn box!

Inside tha crib of petty gangbangas WAYNE n' GROSSMAN, WAYNE is chillin on tha couch, his fuckin left shoulder bleedin from a gunshot wound. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da missin curse box is on a gangbangin' fruity-ass malt liquor table.

 **WAYNE  
** Do you peep whatz goin' down here, biatch? I be literally dawwwwg! bleeding! ta  _death!_

 **GROSSMAN  
** Uh, I'ma open dat shit.

 **WAYNE  
** Grossman!

 **GROSSMAN  
** Look what tha fuck if dis is straight-up worth something, biatch? What, we should just hand it over ta her, biatch? Yo, we took all tha risk yo. Hell, Weezy. Yo ass gots blasted fo' realz. And all fo' a lousy few hundred bucks. Now we could make more, pushin whatever it is ourselves.

GROSSMAN breaks open tha lock on tha box wit a knife n' lifts tha lid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! WAYNE gets up from tha couch ta peep whatz inside.

 **GROSSMAN  
** Huh?

 **WAYNE  
** Is you kiddin me son, biatch? Is you kiddin me son?!

WAYNE picks up tha object up in tha box.

 **WAYNE  
** It aint nuthin but a rabbitz foot- It aint nuthin but a rabbitz foot, Grossman! I'ma take a thugged-out dirtnap fo' a thugged-out damn rabbitz foot.

WAYNE n' GROSSMAN is interrupted by bangin on tha front door.

 **WAYNE  
** Oh pimped out, now what?

WAYNE slams tha rabbitz foot down on tha table while GROSSMAN lyrics tha door.

 **GROSSMAN  
** Oh, hey Foster.

 **FOSTER  
** Yo, listen muthafuckas, not ta be a thugged-out drag or not a god damn thang but itz six o'clock up in tha morning!

 **GROSSMAN  
** Right.

 **FOSTER  
** Can't you keep it down?!

 **GROSSMAN  
** No we... Just gots a thang here be all, sorry bout dat bullshit.

 **FOSTER  
** (to WAYNE) What tha hell happened ta yo slick ass?

 **WAYNE  
** Shotgun happened ta mah dirty ass.

FOSTER strutts over ta WAYNE before turnin back ta GROSSMAN.

 **FOSTER  
** Yo Grossman, biatch? Under mah sink there be a a medicinal kit. And git some wata boiling.

 **GROSSMAN  
** OK.

GROSSMAN leaves n' FOSTER checks WAYNE'S wound.

 **FOSTER  
** I used ta be a Army Medic you know, up in 'Nam, biatch? So I guess dis is yo' dirty day. It make me wanna hollar playa! (Laughs)

EXT fo' realz. APARTMENT BLOCK - DAY

SAM n' DEAN pull up in tha alley beside tha crib block, next ta another car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. DEAN leans up n' checks tha carz plates.

 **DEAN  
** Connecticut. Last three digits 880.

 **SAM  
** Yep, thatz dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** (Clucks) Should've blacked up they plates before they parked up in front of tha securitizzle camera...

INT. WAYNE AND GROSSMAN'S APARTMENT - DAY

WAYNE n' GROSSMAN is playin Poker.

 **WAYNE  
** Four Mackdaddys.

 **GROSSMAN  
** (Groans) Unbelievable.

 **WAYNE  
** Yo ass peep that? (Laughs)

 **GROSSMAN  
** Yeah, yeah, yeah.

 **WAYNE  
** Deal 'em up again.

SAM n' DEAN break tha fuck into tha crib, armed, n' sneak inside.

 **WAYNE  
** Royal Flush. Grossman, thatz tha second Royal Flush up in eight hands.

 **GROSSMAN  
** Yeah, dis be a shitload of fun.

 **WAYNE  
** I can't lose. I mean straight-up, I - I can't lose!

WAYNE grabs tha rabbitz foot.

 **WAYNE  
** Maybe dis thang straight-up works, biatch? Yo ass know what tha fuck I be saying, biatch? Ah- I rap suttin' there be a no way up in Hell we is handin it over ta dat stuck-up biiiatch now, not afta all we've been all up in cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. Uh uh. Letz go, huh, biatch? Letz git outta here, letz go have some fun.

DEAN n' SAM burst tha fuck into tha room, glocks drawn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **DEAN  
** FREEZE, FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!

 **SAM  
** Don't move!

 **DEAN  
** DON'T MOVE!

 **WAYNE  
** What tha fuck iz this?

 **SAM  
** STOP!

 **DEAN  
** All right, give our asses tha box. And  _please_  tell me dat you didn't-

 **SAM  
** Oh they done did.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass opened it?!

DEAN shoves WAYNE against tha wall.

 **WAYNE  
** Is you muthafuckas cops?

 **DEAN  
** Huh?

 **WAYNE  
** ARE YOU GUYS COPS?!

 **DEAN  
** What was up in tha box?

WAYNE glances over all up in tha fruity-ass malt liquor table where tha rabbitz foot sits, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. DEAN bigs up his wild lil' freakadelic gaze.

 **DEAN  
** Oh, was dat is, huh, biatch? Dat shiznit was wasn't it, biatch? What tha fuck iz dat thang?

WAYNE uses DEAN'S distraction ta knock tha glock from DEAN'S hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well shiiiit, it falls ta tha floor, causin it ta fire. Da cap ricochets off a radiator n' hits SAM'S gun, causin his ass ta drop dat shit. Da same cap then ricochets again n' again n' again n' breaks a lamp. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' GROSSMAN both go fo' SAM'S gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. GROSSMAN pushes SAM tha fuck into DEAN. DEAN falls back on tha fruity-ass malt liquor table, launchin tha rabbitz foot tha fuck into tha air.

 **SAM  
** (to DEAN) Sorry!

GROSSMAN throws his dirty ass at SAM, bustin dem both ta tha floor, n' then starts punchin SAM up in tha face. WAYNE goes fo' DEAN'S gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. As he picks it up n' aims fo' SAM, dat schmoooove muthafucka hits DEAN, whoz ass has just gotten up, square under tha chin, knockin his ass down again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. GROSSMAN is now tryin ta strangle SAM. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM desperately tries ta reach fo' tha rabbitz foot, which be almost outta reach. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM just manages ta grab it, then knocks GROSSMAN'S handz away from his cold-ass throat n' kicks his ass back tha fuck into a cold-ass lil corner n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM gets up.

 **SAM  
** DEAN! I gots dat shiznit son!

WAYNE moves forward n' cocks DEAN'S glock up in SAM'S face.

 **WAYNE  
** No you don't.

GROSSMAN gets his handz on SAM'S glock while WAYNE pulls tha trigger on SAM. Da glock jams. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. WAYNE panics n' tries ta clear tha chamber, while DEAN gets up n' tries ta stop his muthafuckin ass. WAYNE is surprised n' stumblez back, trippin over a rug n' fallin back over tha couch yo. Dude knocks his dirty ass out. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN peep each other, confused. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! GROSSMAN gets up n' tries ta point tha glock at SAM.

 **DEAN  
** SAM!

As GROSSMAN moves, tha books on tha bookshelves behind his ass suddenly fall off n' onto his head, knockin his ass up cold. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM'S glock flies outta his hand n' SAM catches dat shit. DEAN looks astounded.

 **DEAN  
** That was a thugged-out dirty break! (pause) Is dat a rabbitz foot?!

SAM holdz it up.

 **SAM  
** I be thinkin it is.

 **DEAN  
** Huh.

EXT. BIGGERSON'S RESTAURANT PARKING LOT - DAY

Dean strutts over ta tha Impala wit a paper bag up in his handz yo. Dude gets in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam is inside. DEAN takes suttin' outta tha bag.

 **SAM  
** I aint findin anythang on it up in Dadz journal.

DEAN holdz up nuff muthafuckin scratch cardz up in front of SAM.

 **SAM  
** Dean, come on.

 **DEAN  
** What?! Yo, dat was mah glock da thug was aimin at yo' head, n' mah glock don't jam. So dat was a thugged-out dirty break. Not ta mention dem takin theyselves out, also a thugged-out dirty break yo. Here, scratch one. C'mon Sam, scratch n' win!

DEAN handz over a cold-ass lil coin n' a cold-ass lil card. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Sam scratches dat shit.

 **SAM  
** Dean, itz gotta be cursed somehow. Otherwise Dad wouldn't have locked it up.

SAM handz tha card back.

 **DEAN  
** $1200... Yo ass just won $1200! (Laughs n' hollers) I don't give a fuck, dude, it don't seem dat cursed ta me!

DEAN handz SAM another card expectantly.

INT. WAYNE AND GROSSMAN'S APARTMENT - DAY

WAYNE n' GROSSMAN is still laid up on tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. WAYNE comes ta n' gets up, groaning.

 **WAYNE  
** Grossman. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Grossman, git up.

WAYNE kicks a empty brew bottle. Well shiiiit, it rolls tha fuck into tha kitchen.

 **WAYNE  
** Yo, Grossman, git up yo. Hey!

WAYNE nudges GROSSMAN wit his wild lil' foot n' strutts tha fuck into tha kitchen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. GROSSMAN is unresponsive. WAYNE steps over tha brew forty n' headz ta tha sink, removin two plates, a cold-ass lil colander n' a big-ass BBQ carvin fork n' placin dem up in tha drainer n' shit. WAYNE turns on tha tap n' splashes wata on his wild lil' grill n' dries off wit a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dish cloth.

 **WAYNE  
** Yo, Grossman. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Grossman!

WAYNE goes ta strutt back outta tha kitchen, his wild lil' foot catchin on tha brew forty up in tha middle of tha floor yo. Dude trips n' falls backwards, landin on tha fork he placed up in tha drainer n' shit. GROSSMAN comes to, gets up n' hears choking. GROSSMAN strutts tha fuck into tha kitchen n' sees WAYNE impaled on tha fork, hustlin from tha back of his neck up all up in his crazy-ass grill. Dat punk gurglin and, presumably, dying. GROSSMAN screams.


	3. ACT TWO

EXT. BIGGERSON'S RESTAURANT PARKING LOT - DAY

DEAN lays up 6 scratch cardz on tha hood of tha Impala, calculatin they winnings.

 **DEAN  
** (Laughs) Oh, man!

SAM is on tha beeper ta BOBBY.

 **SAM  
** Now look Bobby, our phat asses didn't give a fuck.

 **BOBBY  
** Yo ass touched it, biatch? Damn it, Sam!

 **SAM  
** Well Dad never holla'd at our asses bout dis thang. I mean you knew bout his storage place at Black Rock?

 

  
INT. BOBBY SINGER'S HOME - DAY

 **BOBBY  
** His lockup, biatch? Yeah, I knew yo. Hell I built dem curse boxes fo' his muthafuckin ass.

  
EXT. BIGGERSON'S RESTAURANT PARKING LOT - DAY

 **BOBBY  
** Listen, you have gots a straight-up problem.

SAM notices suttin' shinin under a newspaper on tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! It aint nuthin but a gold watch.

  
INT. BOBBY SINGER'S HOME - DAY

 **BOBBY  
** That rabbitz foot ain't no dime store notion.

  
EXT. BIGGERSON'S RESTAURANT PARKING LOT - DAY

SAM picks up tha peep it, turns n' shows it ta DEAN. DEAN grills "awesome!"

 **BOBBY  
** It aint nuthin but real Hoodoo, Oldskool Ghetto stuff.

  
INT. BOBBY SINGER'S HOME - DAY

 **BOBBY  
** Made by a Baton Rouge conjure biatch on some hundred muthafuckin years ago.

  
EXT. BIGGERSON'S RESTAURANT PARKING LOT - DAY

 **SAM  
** It aint nuthin but a hell of a luck charm.

  
INT. BOBBY SINGER'S HOME - DAY

 **BOBBY  
** It aint nuthin but not a luck charm, itz a cold-ass lil curse biaaatch! Biatch juiced it up ta bust a cap up in people, Sam!

  
EXT. BIGGERSON'S RESTAURANT PARKING LOT - DAY

 **BOBBY  
** See, you bust a nut on it, you own dat shit. Yo ass own it, sure, you git a run of phat luck ta beat tha Devil.

  
INT. BOBBY SINGER'S HOME - DAY

 **BOBBY  
** But, you lose it, dat luck turns. Well shiiiit, it turns so shitty dat you dead inside a week.

  
EXT. BIGGERSON'S RESTAURANT PARKING LOT - DAY

 **SAM  
** Well, so I won't lose it, Bobby.

  
INT. BOBBY SINGER'S HOME - DAY

 **BOBBY  
** EVERYBODY LOSES IT!

  
EXT. BIGGERSON'S RESTAURANT PARKING LOT - DAY

 **SAM  
** Well, then, how tha fuck do we break tha curse?

  
INT. BOBBY SINGER'S HOME - DAY

 **BOBBY  
** (Sighs) I don't give a fuck if you can.

  
EXT. BIGGERSON'S RESTAURANT PARKING LOT - DAY

SAM places tha rabbitz foot up in his jacket pocket.

 **BOBBY  
** Lemme look all up in mah library n' cook up some fuckin calls.

  
INT. BOBBY SINGER'S HOME - DAY

 **BOBBY  
** Just sit tight.

BOBBY endz tha call yo. Dude appears ta be hustlin on tha Colt.

  
EXT. BIGGERSON'S RESTAURANT PARKING LOT - DAY

 **DEAN  
** Dude biaaatch! We up fifteen grand!

SAM gives a half-smile, lookin worried.

 

 

INT. BIGGERSON'S RESTAURANT - DAY

SAM n' DEAN enter.

 **DEAN  
** Don't worry, Bobby'll find a way ta break dat shit. Until then I say our crazy asses hit Vegas, pull a lil Rain Man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass can be Rain Man.

 **SAM  
** Look, our laid-back asses just lay low until Bobby calls back, OK? (To RESTAURANT OWNER) Yea muthafucka, uh, table fo' two please.

 **RESTAURANT OWNER  
** CONGRATULATIONS!

An alarm goes off.

 **DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but bangin, I know.

 **RESTAURANT OWNER  
** Yo ass is tha one millionth hommie of tha Biggersonz Restaurant crew!

STAFF start rappin n' takin photographs. Balloons n' streamers fall from tha ceiling. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks embarrassed while DEAN looks ecstatic.

 

 

  
EXT. KUBRICK'S RV AND CREEDY'S PICKUP - DAY

 **KUBRIK  
** Right, you hear anything, break me off a cold-ass lil call.

  
INT. KUBRICK'S RV - DAY

 **KUBRIK  
** Well dat clears mah book. Da wordz out. Now we wait.

 **CREEDY  
** Now we eat.

 **KUBRIK  
** Dope idea. What do you like, biatch? I gots canned every last muthafuckin thang.

 **CREEDY  
** Fuck dat shit, no, dude, not smokin up in tha RV. Look, I know a phat place. Wide menu, phat service, homey atmosphere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Garlic knots muthafucka! Da menuz on they joint.

KUBRUCK don't look convinced.

(Therez a Jizzy fish on tha window of KUBRICKz RV.)

 

  
INT. BIGGERSON'S RESTAURANT - DAY

SAM is on his fuckin laptop. DEAN is smokin a funky-ass bowl of ice cream.

 **SAM  
** Bobbyz right. This lore goes way back. Pure Hoodoo. Yo ass can't just cut one off any rabbit. Has ta be up in a cold-ass lil cemetery, under a gangbangin' full moon, on a Fridizzle tha thirteenth.

 **DEAN  
** I be thinkin from now on, we only git all up in places wit Biggerson's.

DEAN is struck wit dome freeze from tha ice cream. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM laughs as a WAITRESS approaches they table wit mo' coffee.

 **WAITRESS (to SAM)  
** Can I freshen you up?

 **SAM  
** Yeah, yeah sure. Thanks.

Da WAITRESS pours SAM mo' fruity-ass malt liquor but, smilin at him, spizzlez some.

 **WAITRESS  
** Oh!

 **SAM  
** Oh! Oh I uh-

 **WAITRESS  
** Let me mop up here.

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, no quit freakin' tha fuck up itz all gravy, It aint nuthin but all gravy- I gots it, uh...

 **WAITRESS  
** It aint nuthin but no shit, straight-up.

 **SAM  
** OK.

 **WAITRESS  
** Sorry bout that.

 **SAM  
** It aint nuthin but all right.

Da WAITRESS appears ta be flirtin wit SAM. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM gives DEAN a look. Da WAITRESS finishes cleanin up n' strutts away, lookin over her shoulder as she goes n' smiles. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN both lean up in n' peep her retreating.

 **DEAN  
** Dude. If you was  _ever_  gonna git dirty...

 **SAM  
** (Smirking) Shut up.

SAM goes ta pick up his coffee, knocks tha cup over n' manages ta spill all dat shiznit over tha table n' his dirty ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM jumps outta his seat.

 **SAM  
** Oh! Oh Geez, uh...

SAM turns n' a waita wit a gangbangin' full tray crashes straight tha fuck into him, bustin thangs flyin n' causin a scene. DEAN looks shocked.

 **SAM (to waiter)  
** Sorry!

SAM turns back ta DEAN.

 **DEAN  
** How tha fuck was dat good?

SAM searches his jacket pocket n' comes up empty. Da rabbitz foot is gone.

 **DEAN  
** Son of a funky-ass biiiatch.

  
EXT. BIGGERSON'S RESTAURANT

Da waitress whoz ass was flirtin wit SAM is saunterin up in slow motion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Biatch looks all up in tha rabbitz foot up in satisfaction, then pulls off her short black bob wig n' tosses it up in a thugged-out dumpster, smiling, n' lettin her long brown afro flow out.

 

  
EXT. BIGGERSON'S RESTAURANT MAIN ENTRANCE - DAY

SAM n' DEAN rush outta tha restaurant.

 **DEAN  
** Come on!

SAM falls flat on his wild lil' face. DEAN slows down n' turns around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dis shiznit son! Yo ass suck!

DEAN reaches down n' picks SAM up off tha ground.

 **SAM  
** Ow...

 **DEAN  
** So what, now yo' luck turns bad?

SAM'S jeans is torn at both knees, which is bloody n' raw.

 **SAM  
** I guess.

 **DEAN  
** I wonder how tha fuck bad?

  
INT. KUBRICK'S RV - DAY

CREEDY passes his fuckin laptop ta KUBRICK whoz ass looks over tha screen.

 **KUBRIK  
** Looks good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! I wanna bust a nut on dat when they drop tha whole onion up in tha fryer.

CREEDY takes tha laptop back.

 **CREEDY  
** Nearest location...

CREEDY searches n' then pauses, lookin surprised. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude passes tha laptop back ta KUBRICK.

 **CREEDY  
** Yo ass seein that?!

On tha screen be a photograph of SAM n' DEAN from they ballin visit ta tha local Biggerson's. KUBRICK grins.

 **KUBRIK  
** Yes yes y'all, I am.

KUBRICK looks up ta tha sky as though his thugged-out lil' punk-ass been given a sign.

 

 

INT. WAYNE AND GROSSMAN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

GROSSMAN is holdin a photograph of his dirty ass n' WAYNE. GROSSMAN holdz up a funky-ass forty of Tequila n' sadly toasts tha memory of WAYNE. (Dat punk listenin ta Mexican beatz. Drop dis like itz hot!  _Vaya con dios..._  )

 **GROSSMAN  
** Adios, compadre.

GROSSMAN pours a lug of Tequila on tha floor, then takes a big-ass swig. Da door ta tha crib opens n' DEAN n' SAM strutt in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM hangs back.

 **GROSSMAN  
** Oh, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. What do you want?

 **DEAN  
** Heard bout yo' playa yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. Thatz shitty luck.

 **GROSSMAN  
** Piss off.

 **DEAN  
** We know one of mah thugs hired you ta loot tha rabbitz foot fo' realz. A biatch.

 **GROSSMAN  
** Oh yeah, biatch? How tha fuck do you know that?

 **DEAN  
** Because she just stole it back from us.

GROSSMAN laughs.

 **SAM  
** Listen dude, dis is seri-

SAM steps forward n' trips on a wire on tha floor mid-sentence, pullin a CD playa off a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shelf n' bustin it n' SAM crashin ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM takes up a lamp as he goes. DEAN just rolls his wild lil' fuckin eyes n' don't look.

 **DEAN  
** (calmly) Sam, you OK?

 **SAM  
** (from tha floor behind tha couch) Yeah, I be good!

SAM pulls his dirty ass up n' GROSSMAN smirks.

 **DEAN  
** (to GROSSMAN) I want you ta tell our asses her name.

 **GROSSMAN  
** Screw you, biatch.

 **DEAN  
** It wasn't a gangbangin' freak accident dat capped yo' partner.

 **GROSSMAN  
** What?

 **DEAN  
** Dat shiznit was tha rabbitz foot.

 **GROSSMAN  
** (scoffs incredulously) Yo ass is crazy, man.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass know I be not. Yo ass saw what tha fuck happened, what tha fuck it done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! All tha flukes, all tha luck. When you lose tha foot dat luck goes sour. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Thatz what tha fuck capped yo' playa yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin' fo' realz. And mah brutha here is next. And whoz ass knows how tha fuck nuff mo' innocent playas afta dis shit. Now if you don't help our asses stop dis thang, dat puts dem dirtnaps on yo' head.

GROSSMAN looks worried.

 **DEAN  
** Now I can read playas ... n' I git dat shit. Yo ass be a thief, n' a scumbag, thatz fine. But you not a killa n' shiznit fo' realz. Is yo slick ass?

 **GROSSMAN  
** (Whispered) No.

 

  
EXT. BIGGERSON'S RESTAURANT PARKING LOT - NIGHT

KUBRICK is leanin against his RV, which is festooned wit bumper stickers: "HOW WOULD JESUS DRIVE?" "DON'T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE. -GOD" n' "Bethlehem or Bust".

CREEDY approaches from tha restaurant.

 **CREEDY  
** No one saw which way they went fo' realz. And, they meal was free so there be a no credit card trail.

 **KUBRIK  
** Don't worry, we'll find 'em.

 **CREEDY  
** What make you so sure?

 **KUBRIK  
** 'Cause there be a a higher juice at work here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I know it now, nahmeean?

 

 

EXT fo' realz. APARTMENT BLOCK - NIGHT

SAM n' DEAN exit tha crib block. DEAN'S beeper starts ringin fo' realz. As DEAN lyrics, da perved-out muthafucka steps over a big-ass wad of pink bubblegum on tha ground.

 **DEAN  
** Hello?

SAM bigs up n' there be a squishin sound. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude gets a thugged-out deeply frustrated look on his wild lil' grill as he lifts his shoe off of tha bubblegum.

 **BOBBY  
** Dean, pimped out news. Wasn't easy as fuck but I found a heavyweight cleansin ritual dat should do tha trick.

 **DEAN  
** Bobby, thatz uh, pimped out, 'cept Sam, uh...

DEAN looks over at SAM n' grimaces when SAM lifts his shoe.

 **DEAN  
**...Sam lost tha foot.

  
INT. BOBBY SINGER'S HOME - NIGHT

 **BOBBY  
** Dude WHAT?

  
EXT fo' realz. APARTMENT BLOCK - NIGHT

 **DEAN  
** Bobby, Bobby, listen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. This, uh, dis bangin' chick stole it from his muthafuckin ass. I be straight-up n shit. In her mid 20's, n' dat biiiiatch was sharp you know, phat enough all up in tha con ta play us.

SAM is tryin ta scrape tha bubblegum off his shoe rockin a gangbangin' fucked up storm drain grating.

 **DEAN  
** And she only gave tha muthafucka dat freaky freaky biatch hired a name, probably a alias or something. (To SAM) Uh, Luigi or something?

SAM is still scrapin his shoe off.

 **SAM  
** Lugosi.

 **DEAN  
** Lugosi.

  
INT. BOBBY SINGER'S HOME - NIGHT

 **BOBBY  
** Lugosi, biatch? Lugos - Aw crap, itz probably Bela.

  
EXT fo' realz. APARTMENT BLOCK - NIGHT

SAM moves his wild lil' foot too hard, dislodgin his shoe. Well shiiiit, it drops tha fuck into tha drain wit a splash yo. Dude tries ta retrieve dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** Bela Lugosi, biatch? Thatz cute.

 **BOBBY  
** Bela Talbotz her real name.

  
INT. BOBBY SINGER'S HOME - NIGHT

 **BOBBY  
** Crossed paths wit her once or twice.

  
EXT fo' realz. APARTMENT BLOCK - NIGHT

 **DEAN  
** Well she knew bout tha rabbitz foot. Is she a Hustla?

  
INT. BOBBY SINGER'S HOME - NIGHT

 **BOBBY  
** Pretty friggin' far from a Hustla yo, but she knows her way round tha territory. Dat hoe been outta tha ghetto.

  
EXT fo' realz. APARTMENT BLOCK - NIGHT

 **BOBBY  
** Last I heard dat biiiiatch was up in tha Middle Eastside someplace.

 **DEAN  
** Ah, I guess da hoe back.

  
INT. BOBBY SINGER'S HOME - NIGHT

 **BOBBY  
** Which means seriously shitty luck fo' you, biatch.

  
EXT fo' realz. APARTMENT BLOCK - NIGHT

 **DEAN  
** Great.

 **BOBBY  
** But, if it is Bela...

  
INT. BOBBY SINGER'S HOME - NIGHT

 **BOBBY  
** At least I might know some folks whoz ass know where ta find her muthafuckin ass.

  
EXT fo' realz. APARTMENT BLOCK - NIGHT

 **DEAN  
** Thanks, Bobby fo' realz. Again.

  
INT. BOBBY SINGER'S HOME - NIGHT

 **BOBBY  
** Just ... stay locked n' loaded fo' yo' brother, ya idjit.

BOBBY hangs up.

 

 

EXT fo' realz. APARTMENT BLOCK - NIGHT

DEAN looks back at SAM. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks thoroughly dejected.

 **DEAN  
** What?

 **SAM  
** (plaintively) I lost mah shoe.

DEAN looks down at SAM'S sock-clad foot n' sighs, annoyed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude rolls his wild lil' fuckin eyes n' turns away. SAM hangs his head.


	4. ACT THREE

EXT. MOTEL PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Da Impala pulls tha fuck into tha lot n' stops just inside tha entrance.

 **DEAN  
** (on tha phone) All right, Bobby, props. Yo, we owe ya. Another one.

 **DEAN  
** (to SAM) All right, Bobbyz gots it on pretty phat authoritizzle dat dis Bela chick ... lives up in Biatchs. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So it'll take me bout two minutes ta git there.

 **SAM  
** So what tha fuck is our phat asses bustin here?

 **DEAN  
** You, mah brother, is stayin here 'cause I don't want yo' shitty luck gettin our asses capped.

DEAN drives tha Impala tha fuck into tha main lot, passin KUBRICK'S RV on tha way.

INT. MOTEL ROOM 2 - NIGHT

DEAN unlocks tha door n' leadz SAM inside, turnin on a light as he goes.

 **SAM  
** What is I even supposed ta do, Dean?

 **DEAN  
** Nothing! Nothing. Come here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I don't want you bustin  _anything_. I want you ta sit right here (DEAN pulls a cold-ass lil chair tha fuck into tha middle of tha room), n' don't move, OK, biatch? Don't turn on tha light, don't turn off tha light. Don't even scratch yo' nose.

SAM sits up in tha chair n' peeped DEAN leave, lockin tha door behind his muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM wrinklez his nozzle all dem times before riskin a scratch.

EXT. BRIDGE OVER RIVER - EARLY MORNING

SUBTITLE QUEENS, NEW YORK

INT. BELA'S APARTMENT - EARLY MORNING

BELA'S crib is richly decorated n' gotz nuff varied valuable artifacts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. BELA is on tha phone. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch strutts down stairs n' tha fuck into tha kitchen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch talks wit a affected British accent.

 **BELA  
** Because you shook on one point five. Well maybe I should just take it somewhere else?

BELA pets a Seal Point Siamese pussaaaaay dat is chillin on tha counter.

 **BELA  
** Don't threaten me, Luke. Despite yo' hype you don't scare mah dirty ass. (Pause)

BELA'S securitizzle monitors regista DEAN approachin yo, but she not watching.

 **BELA  
** (continues) Well I be glad you peep it dat way. I be bout ta peep you all up in tha airstrip up in a hour.

BELA endz tha call.

BELA picks up tha rabbitz foot wit kitchen tongs n' tha Siamese pussaaaaay hisses.

BELA pauses up in front of tha securitizzle monitors as DEAN moves off-screen; when she glances all up in tha monitors, he no longer on screen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

BELA puts tha rabbitz foot down, opens tha Cristal coola n' extracts a glock from it before movin all up in tha livin room toward tha front door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Da door be ajar fo' realz. As she approaches, she notices a funky-ass beepin noise. Da alarm system panel is flashin ERROR fo' realz. A bright yellow Post-It stuck ta tha panel readz TURN AROUND. DEAN appears behind BELA, his wild lil' freakadelic glock drawn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. BELA turns n' draws her gun.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass left without yo' tip.

BELA smirks. DEAN raises his wild lil' fuckin eyebrows.


	5. ACT FOUR

INT. MOTEL ROOM 2 - DAY

SAM rocks back n' forth on tha chair, bugged out stiff. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly, tha AC unit up in tha wall up in front of SAM starts bustin a cold-ass lil clunking, grindin sound. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Smoke starts ta pour out.

 **SAM  
** (Despairingly) Oh come on, I- I didn't- I wasn't... (sighs)

SAM gets up n' cautiously approaches tha unit. Da unit catches on fire. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM grabs tha comforta off one of tha bedz n' attempts ta put up tha fire wit dat shit. When SAM be thinkin he gots it, he gets up, only ta find his jacket sleeve is now on fire. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM panics n' uses tha curtain ta put it out. Da curtain rips n' falls away, revealin KUBRICK n' CREEDY starin up in all up in tha window. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM falls back, knockin his dirty ass up on tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. KUBRICK smilez n' looks ta tha sky up in props.

INT. BELA'S APARTMENT - DAY

DEAN n' BELA is engaged up in a stand-off.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass is gonna give it back.

 **BELA  
** (Laughs) Sweetie. No I be not.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, we'll see. Bela, right?

 **BELA  
** Thatz right. Dean.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass know tha thangz cursed, don't yo slick ass?

 **BELA  
** You'd be surprised what tha fuck some playas would pay fo' suttin' like dat n' like dis n' like dat y'all.

 **DEAN  
** Really?

 **BELA  
** Therez a lucratizzle market up there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho fo' realz. All dem scrilla ta be made. (laughs) Yo ass Hustlas wit all dem amulets n' talismans you use ta stop dem big-ass shitty monstas fo' realz. Any one of dem could put yo' childrenz lil pimps all up in college.

 **DEAN  
** So you know tha real deal, bout whatz straight-up goin on up there, n' dis is what tha fuck you decizzle ta do wit it, biatch? Yo ass become a thief?

 **BELA  
** I procure unique shit fo' a select clientele.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah fo' realz. A thief.

 **BELA  
** Fuck dat shit, a pimped out thief.

INT. MOTEL ROOM 2 - DAY

CREEDY is restrainin SAM ta a cold-ass lil chair wit Duct Tape. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM comes to.

 **CREEDY  
** Oh, he awake!

 **KUBRIK  
** Back wit us, eh?

 **CREEDY  
** Us dudes didn't even gotta bust a nut on you, biatch. Yo ass just went all (CREEDY wiggles) spastic, n' knocked yo ass out, biatch? Dat shiznit was like watchin Jeremy Lewis try ta stack chairs!

 **SAM  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is you, What do you wa-

KUBRICK snaps his wild lil' fingers up in SAM'S face. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks confused.

 **KUBRIK  
** I used ta be thinkin yo' playa Gordon busted mah dirty ass.

 **SAM  
** Gordon, biatch? Oh come on!

 **KUBRIK  
** Yeah, cuz he axed mah crazy ass ta track you down, n' put a funky-ass cap up in yo' dome.

 **SAM  
** Great. That soundz like his muthafuckin ass.

 **KUBRIK  
** But, as it turns up ... I be on a mission from Dogg.

KUBRICK strikes SAM across tha face.

INT. BELA'S APARTMENT - DAY

 **DEAN  
** Look Bela, mah brother, he ... touched tha foot fo' realz. And when you took it from him, his fuckin luck went from-

 **BELA  
** I know how tha fuck it works.

 **DEAN  
** So then you know he gonna take a thugged-out dirtnap unless we can fuck wit dat shit.

 **BELA  
** (Insincere) Oh... Yo ass can have tha foot.

DEAN looks surprised.

 **BELA  
** For one point five million.

 **DEAN  
** Nice. Yeah, I be bout ta just call mah banker n' shiznit yo. How'd you even find tha damn thang, biatch? Stuck up in tha back of some storage place, middle of nowhere.

BELA looks over her shoulder n' shit. Dean bigs up her gaze ta a Ouija Board n' planchette on tha mantle.

 **BELA  
** I just axed all dem of tha pimpz of tha playas dat it capped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! They was straight-up attuned tha fuck into its location.

 **DEAN  
** So you only up fo' yo ass, huh, biatch? It aint nuthin but all bout number one?

 **BELA  
** Bein a Hunta is so much mo' noble, biatch? A bunch of obsessed, revenge-driven sociopaths tryin ta save a ghetto dat can't be saved?

 **DEAN  
** Well, aren't you a glass half-full?

 **BELA  
** We all goin ta Hell, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Might as well trip off tha ride.

 **DEAN  
** I straight-up smoke wit you there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Anyhoo, dis has been charmin but uh, peep tha time. Oh n' ... this?

DEAN reveals tha rabbitz foot up in his hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! BELA looks pissed.

 **DEAN  
** Looks like you not tha only one wit sticky fingers. If itz any consolation I be thinkin you a truly  _awful_  person.

BELA fires at DEAN n' misses straight-up. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch fires again, tha cap ricochetin round breakin nuff muthafuckin objects n' hittin tha Ouija Board. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dean chucklez n' holdz up tha rabbitz foot ta taunt BELA n' cook up a run fo' tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. BELA fires again n' again n' again at DEAN'S retreatin form, tha cap again n' again n' again ricochetin round n' beatin tha livin shiznit outta mo' objects, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Da Siamese pussaaaaay runs off n' BELA ducks. DEAN escapes.

 **DEAN  
** Seeya!

BELA sighs.

INT. MOTEL ROOM 2 - DAY

CREEDY throws a glass of wata up in SAM'S face. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM'S cheek is bruised n' his nozzle is bloody. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM shakes tha wata off while KUBRICK watches, chillin on one of tha motel beds.

SAM sighs.

 **KUBRIK  
** Yo ass was a part of dat demon plan ta open tha gate weren't yo slick ass?

 **SAM  
** Us dudes did every last muthafuckin thang we could ta stop dat shit.

 **KUBRIK  
** Lie lie lie biaaatch! Yo ass was up in on dat shit. Yo ass know what tha fuck they next move is too, don't yo slick ass?

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, I don't, aiiight, biatch? Yo ass is wack bout all of this.

 **KUBRIK  
** Where is they gonna hit our asses next?

SAM sighs n' stays silent. KUBRICK strikes SAM across tha grill again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM exhales.

 **KUBRIK  
** WHERE?! Gordon holla'd at mah crazy ass bout you, Sam fo' realz. Bout yo' powers. Yo ass is some kinda weirdo psycho freak?

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, not any mo' n' mo' n' mo'. I- no powers, no visions, nothing, it just-

 **KUBRIK  
** LIAR!

KUBRICK punches SAM hard.

 **KUBRIK  
** Now no mo' lies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Therez a army of demons up there pushin at a ghetto already on tha brink. We on deck fo' tha endgame here, right, biatch? So maybe, just maybe you can KNOW (pause, draws his wild lil' freakadelic gun) why we can't take chances.

KUBRICK draws his wild lil' freakadelic glock n' points it at SAM.

 **SAM  
** Whoa, aiiight, aiiight, no, do hold on a minute biaaatch!-

 **CREEDY  
** (tries ta intervene) Yo, Kubrick just-

 **KUBRIK  
** Fuck dat shit, you saw what tha fuck happened, Creedy. Ask yo ass, why is our crazy asses here, biatch? Because you saw a picture on tha web, biatch? Because we chose dis motel instead of another, biatch? Luck like dat don't just happen.

 **SAM  
** Look, I can explain all of dat if-

 **KUBRIK  
** Shut up! (points ta SAM without turnin around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM lets up a long-sufferin sigh) It aint nuthin but God, Creedy yo. Dude hustled our asses here fo' one reason. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. To do His work. This ... is destiny.

 **DEAN  
** Whoa...

Kubrick aims tha glock point blank at SAM'S forehead. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM squeezes his wild lil' fuckin eyes shut. Da sound of another glock bein cocked is heard up in tha room.

 **DEAN  
** Nope. No destiny. Just a rabbitz foot.

 **KUBRIK  
** Put tha glock down, son, or you gonna be scrapin dome off tha wall.

 **DEAN  
** Oh, dis thang?

 **KUBRIK  
** Yeah, dat thang.

 **DEAN  
** Okay. But you see, there be a suttin' bout me dat you don't give a gangbangin' fuck.

DEAN puts his wild lil' freakadelic glock down, lookin smug, n' picks up a pen chillin next ta dat shit.

 **KUBRIK  
** Yeah, biatch? What would dat be?

 **DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but mah dirty day.

DEAN tosses tha pen toward KUBRICK. Well shiiiit, it lodges itself up in tha barrel of KUBRICK'S glock SAM looks impressed.

 **DEAN  
** (Laughs) Oh mah God, did you peep dat shot!?

CREEDY lunges at DEAN n' aims a punch. DEAN easily side-steps n' CREEDY runs straight tha fuck into tha wall, fallin backwardz n' hittin tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. KUBRICK stares all up in tha pen up in tha barrel fo' all dem moments before tryin ta dislodge dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** I be amazing.

DEAN picks up tha TV remote from tha table n' throws it hard at KUBRICK, whoz ass is just bout ta aim fo' DEAN. Well shiiiit, it hits KUBRICK right between tha eyes, knockin his ass up cold. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude drops like a stone.

 **DEAN  
** (Suave) I be Batman.

 **SAM  
** (Sarcastic) Yeah. Yo ass is Batman.


	6. ACT FIVE

EXT. CEMETERY - NIGHT

SAM is crouching, n' sprinklez suttin' onto tha emberz of a lil' small-ass fire. DEAN is checkin over mo' scratch cards.

 **SAM  
** All right. Bone ash, cayenne pepper, dat should do dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** One second...

 **SAM  
** Dean, you-

 **DEAN  
** Yo, back off, Jinx. I be brangin home tha bacon.

SAM sighs. DEAN smirks n' stashes tha cardz up in his jacket, which is slung over a gravestone.

 **DEAN  
** All right, say peace out "wascawy wabbit".

Da sound of glock is heard cocking. DEAN turns round.

 **BELA  
** I be thinkin you gonna find dat belongs ta mah dirty ass. Or, you know, whatever n' shit. (pause) Put tha foot down, honey.

 **DEAN  
** No. Yo ass aint goin ta blast anybody. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See I happen ta be able ta read people. OK, you a thief, fine yo, but you not-

BELA ignores DEAN, aims at SAM n' fires. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM goes down, groaning.

 **DEAN  
** Son of a-

 **BELA  
** Back off, tiger n' shit. Back off. Yo ass make one mo' move n' I be bout ta pull tha trigger.

SAM gets up, clutchin his shoulder.

 **BELA  
** You've gots tha luck, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. You, I can't hit. But yo' brother, biatch? Him I can't miss.

 **DEAN  
** What tha hell is poppin' off wit yo slick ass?! Yo ass don't just go round blastin playas like that!

 **BELA  
** Relax. It aint nuthin but a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shoulder hit, I can aim. Besides, whoz ass here aint blasted all dem people, biatch? Put tha rabbitz foot on tha ground now, nahmeean?

 **DEAN  
** All right son! All right. Take it easy as fuck .

DEAN goes ta drop tha rabbitz foot yo, but instead throws it at BELA.

 **DEAN  
** Think fast.

BELA catches tha foot n' curses. DEAN smilez up in satisfaction. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **BELA  
** Damn!

DEAN  
Now, what tha fuck do you say we fuck wit dat skanky-ass piece of dead thang?

BELA sighs up in annoyance.

 

 

LATER:

BELA drops tha rabbitz foot up in tha embers.

 **BELA  
** Thanks straight-up much. I be up one n' a half million, n' on tha shitty side of a straight-up powerful, fairly psychotic buyer.

 **DEAN  
** Wow. I straight-up don't feel shitty bout dis shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam?

 **SAM  
** Nope. Not even a lil.

 **BELA  
** Hmm. Maybe next time I be bout ta hang you up ta dry.

BELA goes n' leans on tha gravestone where DEAN'S jacket is.

 **DEAN  
** Oh don't go away mad salty, just go away.

 **BELA  
** (Smirks) Have a sick night, thugs.

BELA strutts away. Da rabbitz foot burns up in tha fire.

 

 

**_later, strutting_ **

  
**DEAN  
** Yo ass good?

 **SAM  
** I be bout ta live.

 **DEAN  
** I guess we back ta aiiight now, huh, biatch? No phat luck, no shitty luck. Oh! I forgot we up $46000. I almost forgot bout tha ... scratch tickets.

DEAN searches his jacket n' comes up empty. BELA'S hoopty roars up in tha distance. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN peep each other, then peep her drive away.

  
INT. BELA'S CAR - NIGHT

BELA smirks ta her muthafuckin ass, DEAN'S scratch cardz layin beside her n' shit. BELA picks up tha pile n' laughs.

  
EXT. CEMETERY - NIGHT

 **DEAN  
** SON OF A BIZZNITCH!

  
EXT. PRISON - DAY

  
INT. PRISON

KUBRICK is poppin' off ta GORDON. KUBRICK'S nozzle is taped up.

 **KUBRIK  
** Yo ass was right bout every last muthafuckin thang. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam Winchesta is mo' than a monsta n' shit. Dat punk tha adversary.

 **GORDON  
** And what tha fuck was it dat convinced yo slick ass?

 **KUBRIK  
** Dogg hustled mah crazy ass ta him, n' His will is clear.

 **GORDON  
** Okaaaaay... Thatz pimped out. Glad ta have you on board. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But, uh, first thangs first. We gotta git me tha hell outta here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. 'Cause like I holla'd at you before, Sam Winchesta must take a thugged-out dirt nap.

GORDON hangs up tha two-way phone.


End file.
